I started a wordy post about my feelings about twitter and quitting it and the why’s and stuff, then I decided that I just didn’t care that much anymore. I’m too hurt to really bother explaining myself.

I’ve realized that I need to set out some ground rules. I didn’t deactivate my account, so I’ll still get emails on DMs. Don’t take that as a reason to DM DM DM DM. I may or may not respond, if I feel like it.

I will continue to work on Endless History. I won’t bring my personal commentary in on it. I probably won’t view the main feed, except do targeted searches specifically for the site. Twitter is still a jump off source for some of my articles, so… I can view @mentions from the dashboard of my site and reply to them from there. I will also probably still tweet game related things from @FloofyGaming- I have a bunch of Sen II screenshots to start tweeting again! But for the time being, I’m done being open and chatty. I’ve learned that there’s no room for being unique anymore. You have to be a sheep and march to everyone’s drumbeat- they may not say it to you, but I’m 100% sure that people are thinking it.

Anyhow, I’m also still available by the usual venues. I’m not going to immediately turn into a luddite! And maybe I’ll be back to twitter once I have myself sorted out again. I’m very wounded from hurtful things said on twitter, and needed to limp away and hide for awhile. Sticking my head in the sand didn’t help at all, and when I started mass muting 2x the accounts I had muted since my first announcement for it, I knew something was wrong.

But I saw several things that got me to thinking some really awful and scary thoughts- and I was in bed, actually entertaining said thoughts, I knew that I had to cut something off from my life. If it was going to be twitter, so be it.

I’ll admit, life is suddenly a lot more boring! I wanted to tweet the awesome arrangement of peaches I did on my cottage cheese this morning, for example. At the same time, I feel numb, and it’s kind of a good ‘healing’ numb. I already feel better with what time I’ve taken away from it.

Give me a week or two. Or maybe three, four, or more (rhyming~)… but I don’t doubt that the lure of twitter will bring me back into its warm, wonderful fold at some point.

The above picture is of Daisy, the dachshund that belongs to some very dear friends of mine.

As a dachshund owner myself, when I saw my friend’s post that Daisy couldn’t use her back legs, I was horrified. Now I hear that they need to pull together $3600 for Daisy’s back surgery.

This is from him directly:

My wife got back from the vet in tears. Seems Daisy has somehow injured one of the discs in her back, and she now requires back surgery. Back surgery that will cost $3600!!! We don’t have anything remotely close to that amount… I don’t know what to do.

I put in for a loan against my 401K at my job to try to get the money, but I’m told it’ll take 3 to 5 days for it to hit my account and the vet says Daisy needs the surgery ASAP or else she may permantely lose her motor functions in her back legs or even possibly die.

I’m so upset… I don’t know what to do…

Thank you everyone who has donated so far, and for anyone else who wishes to donate, sent them via paypal to pembrokewkorgi@gmail.com . I’ll find some way to repay you guys. Don’t know how, but I will.

The worst feeling is having a pet you love and being unable to do anything for them. In the case of Daisy, the help is there, but it’s out of reach, due to money reasons. He’s asking for donations via paypal. I can’t give much myself, but I know that multiple people can probably help.

He does a lot of ebay auctions, and he’s a comic writer/artist. I can’t speak for him, but I’m sure he’ll do anything to help Daisy, because I know how much she means to him.

I can keep people posted on his ebay account for when he gives me the information, but for now, any little bit helps. I generally don’t reach out like this, but this friend is like my brother, and Daisy is such a sweetheart. If anything, please spread the word for her. $3600 is a LOT of money, and especially at this time of year, this must be very very hard on them.

Thank you so much.

Tonight I have felt anger in a way I’ve never felt it before. At first, I made a humorous tweet on it. I had likened it to my epic ragequit over Lords of Shadow, where I stopped the game, took it out of my PS3, packed it up, and just drove it to Gamestop to sell it back.

But it didn’t stop there. Things only got worse. Not only do I think think that I’ve lost any ability to respect someone who I once thought of as a highly-regarded friend as a result, but I find myself second guessing the stuff that has been done around me for months. I thought I got past doing that. I feel hurt and betrayed that this person would do such an awful thing in my view, and wonder if the same thing has been done to me from other… stuff that’s happened.

Nevertheless, I’ve cut off any form of contact for me with this person. I’ll leave it to them to make the next move- if they ever decide that they want to.

Now, I feel out of breath, as if I had run a marathon. My heart is pounding. My muscles are tense. I struck my keyboard with a fist at one point- which didn’t help at all. It’s an uncomfortable feeling. …but by now, I’m just tired. I’m sore- both emotionally and physically, and my eyes are still stinging from the tears, both from the rage, and abject horror at what transpired tonight.

Some things offset it at least, and have given me something to cheer about or look forward to. Absolute delight and happiness towards one of my best friends, and I loved the closing ceremonies of the Olympics… heck, this whole thing drove me to going to get a salad for dinner. What’s wrong with me? Am I becoming a rabbit or something?!

But for now, I need sleep. I need sleep and hope to wake up and maybe take on the day tomorrow with as best of an attitude as I can. I want to get this awful thing behind me. I don’t know how I will, but it will happen eventually, I imagine. Like I said before, I tend to not stay angry for long.

I hope that trend does not change with this.

Last night, Scooter thought a bottle of Nair looked appetizing and tried to eat it. Poison control suggested I take him to an emergency vet, but he seemed fine, and didn’t seem to ingest much (if any) at all before I got it and snatched the bottle from him.

I decided, for financial reasons, to watch him and wait until morning, then take him to his usual vet instead. (And as great as they were, I don’t think I could bear to go back to the same emergency vet where Maggie was put to sleep unless it was absolutely horrific.)

Scooter was fine this morning when I got up as well. But my vet wanted to keep him. I handed the poison control case # and everything to them, and they told me that I’d hear back on his treatment before lunch, so that I could try and take him home and then work late to make up coming in to the office late. (I can’t leave him after 5:30 at the vet.)

I guess that meant hearing about him by 12:00 on the dot.

Because things are completely quiet, and now I’m starting get really worried. Is everything really ‘just ok?’ Did I do something wrong by waiting overnight?

The fact that I’m /dead tired/ doesn’t help much at the moment, it’s making me more agitated and anxious… but while I was pretty calm about it this morning, I feel like that calm is starting to quickly fade. :(

Update!
Scooter is okay. He is on medication at the vet’s clinic and will be ready to be picked up when I’m off work. Thank goodness.

So I finally got my piano working with the player parts. So for now, I’m making a note of my meager collection of piano rolls. I will probably edit this post as I collect new rolls.

QRS
2591 – The Glow Worm
3034 – Blue Danube Waltz
4916 – When It’s Springtime in the Rockies
5383 – Home on the Range
5688 – Don’t Blame Me
7258 – You Are My Sunshine
9276 – It’s Only A Paper Moon
9817 – Du, Du Liegst Mir Im Herzen
20689 – Die Walkure
10-076 – Make the World Go Away
263-B – Phantom of the Opera Medley (Part 2)
CEL-142 – I’m in the Moon For Love / Should I?
Q-214 – Stumbling (Needs a box!)
XP-107 – Popular Songs of Other Days, No 1
XP-129 – The Sound of Music

Melodee
1051 – These Foolish Things Remind Me of You

We’ve got a new website project to create a ‘global shopping experience’ for our customers. Apparently, we’re going to be changing a lot of stuff over and all. And there’s all sorts of little things to go with it. They want us to create a new project name.

Well, there were little things like ‘Epiphany,’ ‘Project One World,’ ‘Foresight,’ ‘Morph,’… all of these names.

Well, someone dropped ‘Cloverfield’ into the list. I lost it. My coworkers love it. I voted on it.

It’s the winning the vote from all my coworkers at work. Another coworker put it best- she asked her boss ‘Why Cloverfield?’ He sent her the promo. She already knew the movie, so she was unsurprised with it… but after seeing the destruction caused to New York in the promo, she knew it was the right name for our new website project.

I love my job.

I’ll leave the picture to tell the whole story…

I’ve got internet connection, and a network. I now have one desktop active on it and my laptop. I’ll need to wait until the weekend to get my other (Vorfeed) up and running, because of issues with network cables. Bah.

Then I’ll be experimenting with Powerline Adapters. :o

I’m using my phone to connect to the internet, as my internet gets fully setup tomorrow. But for now, I was looking at the local wifi networks and found a couple that reminds me how awesome my neighbors are. :D

I should try to find out who these people are. :D;;